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May 31, 2011

「パイレーツ・オブ・カリビアン/生命の泉」

ブラッカイマーというプロデューサーは好きだ。お客の喜ぶものを的確に製作・提供し、きちんとビジネスする才覚には感服することが多い。「クリムゾン・タイド」や「コヨーテ・アグリー」、「デジャヴ」など、好きな映画もたくさんある。
その中で、空前の大ヒットシリーズであるこの海賊が…俺はどうしても面白くないのね。
理由は簡単、「物語がつまらない」に尽きる。
1作目はまだ理解できたのだが、2作目以降は「誰が何のために誰と戦ってるのか?」「何で追いかけてるのか、追いかけられてるのか?」がまったく整理されず、けたたましく勢いだけで進んでいる感じがダメ。その割りに上映時間はひたすら長くなるわけで。3作目とか、完全に物語を見失いました。
「月光で浮かび上がる亡霊CG」や「クラーケンやデイビージョーンズのタコ足」などのビジュアルは確かに素晴らしいと思ったんだけど、話が面白くないから、どうしても繰り返し観る気にならんかったのね(だから珍しくパッケージももっていないのです)。
それって、ゴア・ヴァービンスキーのせいかもと思い、今回はなぜか「シカゴ」「NINE」のロブ・マーシャルがメガホンってこともあるから、もしや「踊る大海賊みたいになるかも!?」と少しだけ期待を持ってみたわけさ。

で…結果。

これは2億ドルのゴミだ。
自らがジャンクフードであることを自覚しているし、この大味で脂っこい料理を大衆はお金払って喜んでいるわけだから、まぁ何の問題もないんでしょう。
でも何の意味もない。
この空しさ、悔しさ、やるせなさ。

「生命の泉」をめぐる「インディ・ジョーンズ」ばりの争奪戦(聖杯も出てくるしね)になるかと思えば、なんとものんびりとした追いかけっこで、その合間合間に計算ずくのギャグとアクションを挟み込んでいるだけ。物量が多いからなんとなくお腹はいっぱいになるんだが、後に何も残らないんだよね。メガマックのバリューセットスーパーサイズで…ってところか。ディズニー的には年間のラインナップを埋めただけ、みたいな。
まぁそういう“エンターテインメント”を頭から否定するわけでもないが、せっかくの「ヒットを約束された大作」なんだから、もう少し何かあってもよかったんじゃないかね。

途中でジュディ・デンチによく似たクソ婆が出てきたが、エンドロールで「ご本人」だったことがわかって驚く。なんじゃありゃ。何の意味もないw

Pirates_of_the_caribbean_on_strange
↑ペネロペの劣化が激しい。あと5歳若かったら…ねぇ?

Pirate00
↑父ちゃん……

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